la-crimis (medieval latin meaning "the tears")
... My wrong, my wrong, my most grievous wrong.~Robert Duncan
Do not seek the treasure!~Pete (O Brother, Where Art Thou?)
These three lines come to mind when the name Carlo Gesualdo is mentioned around me. Stravinsky referred to him as "This great if disequilibrated composer."
Herein lies the dilemma for a musician who wants to use his or her talents “For the Glory of God” and make a living doing the thing he or she loves.
Through a series of interesting events, you sign a one record deal with a well known classical record company, the album gets released and becomes a “worldwide classical/crossover hit.” Perhaps... even a possible gold record?... not sure :-)
Oh yes, by the way...you're the arranger and "de-composer" with a composer who happens to be an 11th Century German Catholic abbess. A composer whose melodies, upon first hearing, transport you instantly into the "heavenly realms."
Next thing you know, the record company wants a “follow-up” album (aka) "V2."
Then... another “interesting event” occurs. A larger competitor company wants to sign you to do the “follow up V2 album" for them. In fact they want to sign you to a "seven record deal" as part of the incentive. There's just one little catch (aka) “the deal breaker." "We want you to do one of the projects for us using Don Carlo Gesualdo’s Motets."
I'm going to move the story from you to me now. "Richard we would love it if you did a project like Vision but using Gesualdo's Motets as your source. You just substitute his music for hers, and add your "eclectic arrangements"..."You know, for kids!"
Now the more I researched Don Carlo, the more uncomfortable I was feeling about this “deal.” As I listened to his music, I couldn’t help but project the man himself onto it. This man had some "serious issues" in his personal life!
As beautiful as his motets were, there were moments that were spiritually and emotionally disturbing...to me. Something was not quite right?
DISCLAIMER: Again this is my story and someone else might have a completely different take on Gesualdo and his music.
Although he Dedicated his works to God, I personally heard no “redemption” in his music... just a tormented soul.
BUT... there was this very attractive record offer. The current company I was with only wanted another one record deal. My main contacts at the company had moved over to their competitor and they were dangling the “seven record golden carrot” in front of me. "It was job security for sure!" This seemed like a no brainer going with them, plus I would be in a familiar "comfort zone” too! So, I ignored the Don Carlo "stop sign," took the carrot, recorded the follow-up V2 album. BTW: V2 didn’t do anywhere near as well in the big numbers, although it was a good project and I'm proud of it.
Then I decided to tackle Geusaldo’s Motets and get it done. By that time I actually believed I could give his music the "redemptive quality" it was missing. Talk about justifying your actions!
After what seemed like a year and a half working in "Rappaccini's Garden" on a Mobius Strip (I’m mixing metaphors again, sorry!)... "our relationship" fell apart between the company and myself and FAX appears on my machine, as if signed by Gesualdo himself, saying basically, “ YOUR FIRED!”
Now about that the Still, Small Voice . I obviously didn’t listen to it! I went "seeking the treasure."
There is a lot more to this little morality play and maybe someday I'll share it. I don’t blame anyone but myself for what happened (not even the record company...anymore!), and I finally forgave myself not too long ago. God forgave me right away!
The long and short of me sharing this story is, If the Voice says “don’t do it!”...listen, pray, listen some more and then don’t do it!
PostScript The project did get completed (with the help of a dear friend). It's been sitting in the record company vaults since 1998. RIP Gesualdo (1561 - 1613)
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